I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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