my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
