We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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