your thong is hanging out like whoa
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
handjob tips. give me some.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
