Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
