Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
