At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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