it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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