Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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