There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
