Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
