I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
