I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
