yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
