The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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