Don't make out with my wife yet
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Found your dick twin last night
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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