Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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