So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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