I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
