you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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