i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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