I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Randomize
