Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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