I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
