ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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