Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
