i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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