Your tits are I can't wait for
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
