Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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