So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
