oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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