i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
