I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
