how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
