I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
