If that was your dad, he is hot
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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