I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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