i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
