I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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