what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
