Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
