On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
