Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
