She said her name was "party"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
