i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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