God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
