Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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