he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
