We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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