if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
