East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Randomize
