Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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