It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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